Just saw an ad for this, in which Terminally Happy Commercial Minions spout off about “Kitchen Fresh Chicken” and how wonderful it is, and then the one Guy Who Figures It Out says, “That’s such a mouthful! They oughta just call it KFC!”
But at that moment, there’s a fine-print disclaimer at the bottom of the screen:
Fresh claim not applicable in Alaska, Hawaii due to unusual supply outages.
Translated, courtesy of an intercepted telegram:
CHICKEN BITZ FROZE AND/OR MELTED ON WAY TO STORE STOP
NEW SUPPLY DELAYED BY POLAR BEARS AND/OR SHARKS STOP
COOK AND SELL IMMEDIATELY CURRENT SUPPLY STOP
DO NOT USE WORD ‘FRESH’ AT ANY TIME STOP